1. Every Good Mum Feels It

Mum guilt isn’t a flaw — it’s part of the experience. Whether it’s because you gave them toast for dinner, said no to another play, or just craved five minutes alone, that pang of guilt hits fast and hard. But here’s the truth: feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job. It usually means you’re doing too much, caring too deeply, and holding yourself to an impossible standard.

We don’t feel guilty about things we don’t care about. The fact that you’re feeling it says everything about how invested you are. That’s not failure — that’s love.

What to try:

• Remind yourself: “I feel this because I care”

• Don’t wait to feel guilt-free before calling yourself a good mum — both can exist

2. You’re Not Alone — We Just Don’t Talk About It Enough

It might seem like everyone else is coping better. That mum at drop-off with the homemade snacks, or the Instagram post where the family’s boarding a flight in matching outfits — but most parents are carrying their own version of guilt quietly. Some feel guilty for working. Some feel guilty for staying home. Others feel it for not enjoying every moment.

The silence around it only makes it worse. When we don’t talk about it, it feels like something we’re meant to hide — but you’re not the only one who’s cried in the car after school drop-off. Promise.

What helps:

• Talk to another parent — chances are, they’ve felt it too

• Ditch the polished feeds that make you feel like you’re falling short

• Speak honestly with your partner or support system about how heavy it feels

3. You’re Allowed to Make Mistakes

So you snapped. You gave in. You forgot something. That doesn’t undo all the love, effort, and presence you’ve already poured in. Kids don’t need perfect parents — they need present ones. And present parents mess up sometimes, especially when they’re tired, stretched, and trying to hold everything together.

Owning a mistake and coming back from it? That is the good parenting. That’s what teaches resilience, empathy, and real emotional connection.

Small shifts:

• Stop holding yourself to a higher standard than everyone else

• Say sorry when it’s needed — not because you're guilty, but because it builds trust

• Show your child what self-forgiveness looks like

4. You Can Feel Guilty and Still Make the Right Call

Sometimes the guilt lingers even when we know we’ve made the right choice — leaving the party early, saying no to another lolly, booking that solo weekend away. Guilt doesn’t always mean something’s wrong. It just means you're stepping out of your comfort zone, or challenging a belief you’ve held about what being a "good mum" should look like.

It’s okay to feel the guilt and still follow through — not everything that feels uncomfortable is wrong.

Reframe it:

• Guilt isn’t a stop sign — sometimes it’s just noise

• Ask yourself: “Would I feel guilty if someone else did this?”

• Remember: your needs matter too

5. You’re Doing Better Than You Think

At the end of the day, guilt often sticks around because you care about doing a good job — and you probably are, even if it doesn’t feel like it. The cuddles, the check-ins, the packing of the bag, the staying up late googling how to help with their sleep — it all counts.

Kids don’t remember perfection. They remember connection. And the fact that you’re reading this? That alone says everything.

A gentle reminder:

• Give yourself the same kindness you give your child

• Celebrate the small wins — they’re never actually small

• You’re not meant to carry it all without cracking

Final Thought

Mum guilt is normal — but it doesn’t have to control you. It’s okay to feel it, acknowledge it, and keep going anyway. Let it remind you that you’re human, that you care, and that you’re not alone in this.

You’re already showing up. That’s more than enough.